by Lori Lipsky

Change Is Coming

If your youngest or only child has reached the teen years, it’s not too early to start to prepare for an empty nest. For some parents, especially those who have been the primary caregivers, the time when children leave home can be an emotionally challenging one. Some grief is normal. Preparing in advance can help.

Survival Tips

1. Start years in advance. Prepare yourself for their leaving. Communicate to your children regularly that it is normal for children to leave home in adulthood and to lead their own lives. As you tell them this, be sure you are listening. Support them in their efforts to either provide for themselves or to go to college.
2. Offer your support. When it is time for them to leave, make an effort to be enthusiastic about their new adventure. Within reason, assure them of your willingness to help if they need it.
3. Let your children know they are welcome to consider your home their permanent base whenever they choose to visit or return. This may not be possible for families with limited space or finances, but it’s nice for your children to know they have a back-up plan if needed.
4. Prepare for communication in advance. Be sure they have a cell phone that works well and service in the area where they will be located. Discuss expectations so there will be fewer surprises.
5. Make plans to invest in yourself for a change. What will do you when the children no longer live with you? You can try new things. Revive old interests. Compile a list of things you’d like to accomplish and get started. Choose at least one thing and start to do it before the nest empties. Here are several ideas:

• • • Start a new hobby
    • Volunteer
    • Restart a career
    • Form a book club, a knitting group, a writers’ group, a painting club, or a travel group. It’s a way to meet new people with similar interests and build new friendships.

Making Adjustments

When my daughters were teenagers, I started a book club. I found a friend with similar reading interests. We each invited two other women to join. If you start your group before your last child leaves home, your new friends can help you navigate the adjustment of an emptying nest.

What will you do to prepare for the empty nest stage of life?

© Lori Lipsky

by Lori Lipsky

My daughter drove from Wisconsin to North Carolina not long ago. She said it was the worst drive of her life, and that’s saying a lot. As a travel enthusiast and photographer, she spends a lot of time on the road.

Road construction, traffic back-ups, and several near-misses caused by other driver errors had her shaken up by the time she reached her destination of Asheville, North Carolina.

Two highlights of her day happened at Chicago toll areas. She had brief conversations with attendants at two different booths. One merely smiled and was polite. The other complimented my daughter on a piece of jewelry in a pleasant tone of voice.

I was reminded of the power just a few words can have on another’s day. Kindness has a ripple effect. Your kindness often inspires another to show kindness. Here are twelve simple suggestions for spreading kindness:

1. Write an unexpected thank you note.
2. Hold a door open for another person.
3. Invite someone to lunch and pay the bill.
4. Mail someone a letter. Real mail can be saved and reread.
5. Offer to babysit for friends or family with young children.
6. Bring a plant or dessert to a new family in your neighborhood.
7. Send flowers to someone. Or deliver them in person.

“Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.” John Ruskin

8. Call a grandparent or stop by for a visit.
9. Knit or crochet a baby blanket and pass it on to a baby in your life.
10. Reconnect with an old friend. Write them a note or give them a call.
11. Tip big. Make the server’s day.
12. Take the time to complete a survey at a restaurant or store. Mention the name of the employee who waited on you, and leave a kind comment.

How will you show kindness to another today?

© Lori Lipsky