Five Tips for Approaching an Empty Nest

by Lori Lipsky

Change Is Coming

If your youngest or only child has reached the teen years, it’s not too early to start to prepare for an empty nest. For some parents, especially those who have been the primary caregivers, the time when children leave home can be an emotionally challenging one. Some grief is normal. Preparing in advance can help.

Survival Tips

Start years in advance. Prepare yourself for their leaving. Communicate to your children regularly that it is normal for children to leave home in adulthood and to lead their own lives. As you tell them this, be sure you are listening. Support them in their efforts to either provide for themselves or to go to college.
Offer your support. When it is time for them to leave, make an effort to be enthusiastic about their new adventure. Within reason, assure them of your willingness to help if they need it.
Let your children know they are welcome to consider your home their permanent base whenever they choose to visit or return. This may not be possible for families with limited space or finances, but it’s nice for your children to know they have a back-up plan if needed.
Prepare for communication in advance. Be sure they have a cell phone that works well and service in the area where they will be located. Discuss expectations so there will be fewer surprises.
Make plans to invest in yourself for a change. What will do you when the children no longer live with you? You can try new things. Revive old interests. Compile a list of things you’d like to accomplish and get started. Choose at least one thing and start to do it before the nest empties. Here are several ideas:

- - Start a new hobby
  - Volunteer
  - Restart a career
  - Form a book club, a knitting group, a writers’ group, a painting club, or a travel group. It’s a way to meet new people with similar interests and build new friendships.

Making Adjustments

When my daughters were teenagers, I started a book club. I found a friend with similar reading interests. We each invited two other women to join. If you start your group before your last child leaves home, your new friends can help you navigate the adjustment of an emptying nest.

What will you do to prepare for the empty nest stage of life?